“Okay I’ll drop you to the main road, and you can go on your own from there”, he was saying while he tied his wristwatch. “After all, your mother has asked me to drop you, but not specified as to drop you where…” And here again he came up with that playful wink of his. My maternal uncle can sometimes be a delight in his playfulness. This remark of his certainly did a lot to ease the tension and excitement of joining college.
“Okay Mamu”, I replied, no less playfully.
And thus we did. The moment I boarded the bus, I had a strange air doing rounds in my mind. I could not categorize it, it was an amalgamation – homogenous? I don’t know; strangely influential? Oh yeah! What was it? Suddenly, I was thinking about my parents, feeling a strange longing for them, baselessly regretting having come away from them, and longing to see them at once. It was strange how one could experience such an upturning of thoughts. Just two days back, I was happy I was finally escaping from that atmosphere of intrigues, of persistent tension, frustration and disgust; and here I was once again, loathing my escapade, wanting to undo it – at least the separation part. The other feeling that engulfed me was one of uncertainty – how will this life be? Will I fare well with the sudden gust of freedom that this life blows into me? What kind of a reputation will I be able to make in college? Or is it time to rise above reputations and begin to enjoy and live life up to the fullest? Will this tryst with Science end up fruitful? Will I make friends in college or will I once again land as a loner? Or will there be too many friends or just a select few? There were many questions – about my future life at college and in this city called New Delhi.
Four days down the line, I am much to explore much more, but there are a few things that I have realized. Firstly, wherever you go, things ultimately fall into place. Its strangeness, its hostility, its volatility, its fickleness – you however adapt to them all, you learn to deal with them, sometimes at a bit uneasy expenses. It’s not the cinematic ‘Happy Ending’ thing, yet on similar lines. This principle says that you cannot feel out of place somewhere for a long time. You end up falling into that particular mould and finally, you fit well. It’s just that you end up liking your journey of life. Secondly, you’ve been dealing with expectations all your life. Some of us are where we are today because we took it upon us to live up to the expectations that others had of us, it’s time we spare us this. It’s time to enjoy life, and beware, enjoying does not mean going astray; it just means not setting predefined levels of success. The idea is to enjoy what we do and see ourselves being conducted to success as a consequence. So to say, I am not going to define the CPI that I intend to secure in the term exams, I am just going to try and enjoy to the fullest what I study.
All this and much more, much more yet be learnt, explored, achieved. Frankly, I still miss my parents but the regret has gone because there is a lot here too, even more wonderful when I am all up as a receptor. I’ve learned to love my life, and love what it brings for me.